Guilty Pleasure
by Little.Miss.Xanda
Summary: James was indulging in some alone time when he was interrupted by the most unexpected person. Being caught in the act by your best friend's mother was horrible, even worse? The girl you like being dragged into the conversation. By the end of it he could only hope that his family jewels would make it out of it intact.


**Dislcaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by J. K. Rowling. No money is being made.

 **Written for The Awkward Moment Competition**

 **Characters** : James Potter I, Walburga Black / Scenario: The Awkward Moment when you were *damn ffnet censors* caught doing something that sounds like Master-baking, during which you say a name that the person who caught you is shocked by.

 **Optional Prompts** : Star Sign: Gemini - Potion: Amortentia - Song: Everytime We Touch by Cascada - Word: Theft - Word: Dawn

* * *

 **Guilty Pleasure**

He was almost there. Just a little more. He pulled a little harder, and couldn't stop the breathy moan from passing his lips, "Sirius."

"Potter!" his eyes snapped open, and he looked towards where the shout had come from.

He tumbled out of his chair and his eyes widened in horror when he saw Walburga Black standing there, looking at him with utmost disgust. He reddened when he noticed that he was still hard, and had his hand still around his manly bits. Bits that seemed to be in danger of being cut off if the look Black was giving him was any indication.

"How dare you, you disgusting little cretin?!" the woman screeched. "And in a public place no less! How dare you desecrate the sanctity of the Hogwarts library?"

James stumbled upright, his robes hiding his privates, which to his utter horror was still hard. Come on? What more did his libido need to deflate?!

"Lady Black!" he _didn't_ squeak. "Wh-what are you doing here?"

"My oldest is needed back home, I was told he was in the library and came to fetch him. Instead of finding him, I find you. Have you no shame, boy? How dare you do those filthy things while thinking of my son?!"

James froze and looked at her wide-eyed.

"Sirius? I wasn't thinking of Sirius." He looked at the woman as if she were crazy. He had his little flower, why would he think of Sirius?

"So I must have imagined the name you uttered, mustn't I?"

"I would never think of anyone but my Lily flower!" James didn't bother to keep his voice low, which attracted even more attention than Black's screeched had, and a few people peered around the bookshelves of his little alcove. Lily being one of them.

"Potter? What have you done now, and why was my name brought into the mix?"

"Nothing! I did nothing!"

Walburga sniffed disdainfully.

"Nothing indeed." She glanced at Lily, and narrowed her eyes slightly. "This reprobate was defecting the library while thinking of my son."

Lily's eyes widened, glancing briefly at James' crotch, before catching herself and blushing bright red.

"I didn't know you were so inclined," Lily muttered. "Though that would explain your over the top gestures in trying to get me to go out with you." She nodded seriously. "You shouldn't be ashamed of it. I'm sure your friends will stand with you even if you seem to have slightly deeper feelings for one of them."

James could only stare at both women completely flabbergasted. He was valiantly ignoring the other students that were inching closer, eager to get their grubby little hands on juicy gossip.

"I'm not gay for Sirius!" his voice reached an unfortunate higher pitch, and Lily threw him a pitying look.

"Of course, dear." She closed the few steps between them, and patted him on the back. "No one said you were. But if you were, I'm sure Sirius would be okay with it, maybe you two could go on a date. He does seem extremely close to you, maybe he feels the same."

Black actually snorted.

"The only way my son would get involved with him was if he were fed Amortentia."

"There, there. Don't listen to her. The path to true love his hard, but it's worth walking it."

James was sure that he couldn't have looked more horrified if he tried.

Lily seemed to be completely oblivious to it, since she just kept on talking.

"You and Sirius are so alike. I'm sure you have compatible signs, you look like a Gemini to me."

"I'm not," he replied, completely out of it. How had things turned out like this? He had just wanted a nice, little wank. Was that too much to ask for?

"Hum, I'm sure it's fine even if you're not. Oh, I know!" Lily grinned at him. "Sirius adores those little skirts we have with our uniform, I can let you borrow mine and you could pose for Sirius! I'm sure he would love it!"

True fear gripped his heart, and he jumped away from her.

"No!" he shouted, climbing on top of the desk. "I'm not gay for Sirius!" he repeated loud and clear. He looked at Sirius' mother, who was still looking at him as if he were a disgusting bug, and at Lily who was throwing him a pitying look. "Listen here: there is only one person my little guy gets hard for, and it certainly isn't Sirius! It's for you Lily. You stole my heart, and my libido. I don't know how it happened. It was theft pure and simple."

"Then how do you explain the name you uttered while doing that unspeakable thing?" Black demanded, her lips pursed.

"Huh..." James faltered for a second. "Slip of the tongue?"

Her eyes narrowed, clearly not impressed by his answer, while Lily shook her head in clear disappointment.

James let out a frustrated cry, "Why the hell do you want to make me gay?"

Lily blushed deeply and looked away, while someone from the growing crowed muttered, "Yaoi. Guilty pleasure." Which earned several agreeing nods.

"Well, too bad." James glared at all of them. "I'm not gay! I only want my Lily flower. It's only her touch that gets me like this. Only her touch that makes my heart beat so fast. I just want her."

Lily was still blushing, but for a completely different reason now, and James could feel a smile on his lips. Maybe this would be all that she needed to finally realize what he felt for her. Some of the students cooed, and he could see little stars appearing in their eyes. Though before he could make use of the present situation to ask his Lily flower out once more, an ominous aura filled the room.

"What is the meaning of this?" the soft, deadly voice made a shiver run down his spine. He looked up only to see the vulture of the library standing behind Black. Her beady eyes fixed on him, promising all kinds of horrible torture.

A sadistic smile spread on Black's lips, and he silently pleaded for her not to do it.

"This young man, was masturbating near your books."

She wasn't even finished talking when James jumped from the table and ran from the library as if the hounds of hell were on his heels. He was still near enough to hear Pince's enraged shriek, "Get back here, Potter!"

He did what any sane person would do – he continued running. He valued his manly bits far too much to risk Pince's wrath.

While running to protect his family jewels, he couldn't help but wonder how long it would take for the gossip to spread through Hogwarts. He was sure that by dawn every single inhabitant of the castle would know what had happened.

He could only hope that by then the story had been sufficiently altered that no one would remember the name he had moaned while masturbating in a small alcove in the library.


End file.
